From New Moms to Lifelong Friends: The Evolution of Support Part 2

In the previous part of this blog series, I shared the beginning of my journey with a group of remarkable women who started as fellow new moms and evolved into lifelong friends. Our story didn't end with the conclusion of our formal support group meetings; instead, it continued to unfold over decades and continues to impact the lives of our families.

As our children transitioned into their school years, our beloved group faced a pivotal moment. How could we maintain our bond amidst the demands of busy schedules and evolving family dynamics? The answer came to us effortlessly: Pizza Night.

Gathering weekly at rotating homes, we embraced a simple yet cherished tradition: dinner, camaraderie, and laughter. Dads joined the fold, and pizza became our culinary cornerstone. With wine flowing and dessert shared, we found solace and joy in each other's company, renaming ourselves with a moniker that reflected the warmth and comfort of our gatherings: Pizza Night.

Our gatherings were not just about the adults; our children played an integral role in shaping our shared experiences. From impromptu performances to sports games watched together, our homes were filled with the laughter and energy of our growing brood. Each child brought their unique interests and passions to the table, enriching our gatherings with their vibrant personalities and shared adventures. One time we even had t-shirts printed that each one of us tie-dyed. There was an image of a large pizza with one slice missing on the front, and on the back it read, “Pizza Night: Alert the media.” Such silliness.

We took annual camping trips, visited the beach and the mountains and even took a long holiday trip to the Dominican Republic one Thanksgiving.

As our children navigated the trials and triumphs of adolescence, our bond only deepened. From school plays, sporting events and college visits, we celebrated each milestone with pride and joy, standing by each other through life's ups and downs. Eventually, four of the six went to the same college. For one year, they were all there together; a senior, a junior, a sophomore and a freshman. That was one fun Parent’s Weekend!

When my husband and I divorced, Pizza Night was there for not just me but my children. We stayed strong together, and they continued to support me even though I had to move a distance away. But even through that, we never stopped our annual holiday gatherings and being together when we could. Our children were growing into adulthood now and the number of gatherings was diminishing but we still remained an integral part of each other’s lives. They were there in attendance when I remarried and have welcomed my husband into the fold.

In 2019, the first of the children was married. We were there to celebrate this momentous event with each other and were looking forward to more marriages and the potential for the next generation that could bring. In 2020, Pat received a devastating diagnosis, and in 2022, just shy of the 30th anniversary of our first support group meeting, she passed away. Those of us who were not permitted to be in the hospital, gathered together and cried with each other when we received the news. The following day we found solace by joining with other members of her family in her kitchen. Supporting each other with stories of love and memories of our friendship, we made it through those days together.

As we look ahead to the future, we do so with a sense of hope and anticipation. The next generation of Pizza Night is on the horizon, with more weddings and the first impending birth bringing new joy and excitement to our cherished group. Though our gatherings may be less frequent, our love for each other remains as strong as ever, a testament to the enduring power of friendship and community. What started out as a new moms support group and morphed into Pizza Night, a family who has supported each other through countless life events. Never did I imagine when I took those first steps into that basement that I would learn what true support means.

For me, Pizza Night isn't just a weekly tradition; it's a lifeline, a source of comfort and strength that has sustained me through life's greatest joys and deepest sorrows. I am grateful for the journey that brought us together, and I look forward to the adventures that await us in the years to come. After all, Pizza Night isn't just a gathering; it's a celebration of the enduring bonds of friendship and love that have defined our lives for over three decades. And for that, I am eternally grateful.

Although there is no pizza, our virtual support group brings those same threads of community, camaraderie, and compassion to the table. I hope that you will find “your people”; the people who can lift you up and hold you as you navigate your way through the next chapter in the same way that I found mine. I truly believe there will be no regrets in taking that step.

It is my hope that whether you find a Candlelit Care free & virtual support group (starting this Summer 2024), a local in-person support group, a religious support group, or one hosted at your favorite coffee shop in town, that you find a community that holds and grows with you as I know I did too.

Sincerely,

Ann